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加菲猫精彩语录
热爱睡觉、美食、电视和美女的加菲猫,每天拖着胖胖赘肉,脑筋飞转地对待主人、主人的女朋友.、欧第、同伴和死敌,还会时不时傲慢而慵懒的幽你一默,看看他的生活,有没有你自己的影子。
I hate Mondays. 我讨厌星期一。(梦魇日的开始)
Poky,cover me. I’m going in. 波基,掩护我。我要行动了。(老板问起,就说我见客户去了。)
Trying to avoid your duties,huh? 竟然想逃避责任。(错过大单子,被老板K。)
I make a point to get it good everyday. 我每天都是吃不了兜着走的。(再错过大单子,小心我让你吃不了兜着走。)
How shall I outwit you this time? 我这回该怎么戏弄你呢?(老板怎么了,照样有办法对付你。)
It's a liver flavored. 这可是猪肝口味呀。(你家猫儿子最喜欢吃什么呀?)
That's even nicer.! 那个更是不错!(我家猫儿子更喜欢Pizza。)
Jump back. Kiss myself. 搞定。真佩服我自己。(每个人都应该相信自己。)
She is some beautiful. 她真漂亮。(这位MM是新同事?名花有主否?)
Uh, Mr. Pathetic, you've had a crush on her since high school. 可怜虫先生,你从高中开始就被她迷得神魂颠倒了。(我痴心不改。)
Would you please ask her out so she can reject you, and we can get on with me life?你能不能把他约出来,好让她直截了当地拒绝你,然后咱们继续自己的生活?(是时候行动了。)
家务哲学趣谈
Philosophy of House Cleaning
I don't do windows because..
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
我不檫窗户,是因为
我是一个爱鸟之人,不希望任何一只鸟儿撞上干净透明的窗户而受伤。
I don't wax floors because...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'llfeel terrible(plus they may sue me)
我不给地板打蜡,是因为
我担心客人会因此滑到而伤筋动骨,那样的话我会感到内疚(更何况他们还可能因此起诉我)。
I don't mind the dust bunnies because..
They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree everything I say.
我不会嫌弃全身脏兮兮的兔子,是因为
它们是人类很好的伙伴。我几乎给每只兔子都起了名字,它们对我所说的一切都深信不疑。
I don't disturb cobwebs because..
I want every creature to have a home of their own.
我不会去清理墙角的蜘蛛网,因为
我希望每一个生灵都有自己的家。
I don't du Spring Clean because
I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.
我不做“春季大扫除”因为
我热爱每一个季节,我不希望其它的季节觉得我厚此薄彼。
I don't pull weeds in the garden because...
I don't want to get in God's way, he is an excellent designer.
我不会去铲除花园中的野草,因为
我不想碍上帝的事----他是个完美的设计师。
I don't put things away because...
I will never be able to find them again.
我不会去收拾东西,因为
我会永远找不到。
I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because...
I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.
招待客人时,我不会去准备什么美味的佳肴,因为
我不希望客人们在回请我时过于重视事物。
I don't iron because....
I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press".
我从不烫衣服,因为
我愿意相信衣服标签上说的------终身免烫。
I don't stress much on anything because ...
"A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkle up crusty old woman!!!
我不对任何事情过分要求,因为
凡是追求完美的人都太辛苦,往往不能长寿。我宁可一直这么平庸地活者,直到变成一个满脸皱纹,脾气暴躁的老太太。